my room smells like sperm. sweet.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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