grinding to god bless the USA? really?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me