He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again