Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
