He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
