I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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