Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
