I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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