Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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