If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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