I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
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I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow bdsm is so cute
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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