Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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