Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
