In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
