can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
