Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
