I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
