my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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