I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
