i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
