I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
