You're so nebulous sometimes
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
