A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
