She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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