Please, let me fuck your mom
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
