No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
