best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
