dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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