we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just had sex bonerless
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
