Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
