after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
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Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
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OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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