He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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