my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
