Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
