the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
