all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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