That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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