If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
should my penis look like a turkey
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
