I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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