Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
