ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's rum buckets o'clock
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize