at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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