you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
