don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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