1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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