I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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