Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
