we're blogging at a bar
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
