I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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