I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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