Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Panties = found
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
