At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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