We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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