I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
