i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
