So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
