Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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