Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
