No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
