they need to just BURY HIM!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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