i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
