first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
